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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work
Whether we work for a giant corporation or in a two-person office, there’s no question that work is stressful. All of us, no matter what our career or industry, must deal with some combination of unpleasant issues - unrealistic deadlines, bureaucracy, back-stabbing co-workers, demanding bosses, quotas, endless meetings and blizzards of memos. Add to that fierce competition, poor working conditions and long commutes, and you can see there’s no way to avoid hassles.
Indeed, the question is nor whether you can eliminate stress, but rather how to handle it. You could expend an enormous amount of energy on being frustrated, angry or offended over relatively minor things, or you can find new ways to respond to the demands of work. Interestingly, when dealing with really serious work-related issues - for example, being fired or forced to relocate - most people display remarkable courage and resilience. It’s the small stuff that drives us all crazy.
But if you can learn to treat the hassles with more wisdom, patience and humor, you’ll transform tour work experience. You will bring out the best in yourself—as well as others. Instead of reacting to each issue with knee-jerk negativity, you’ll learn to respond with grace. Even better, it will brighten your entire day.
Following are twenty-one key strategies that will make work a whole lot more fun.
ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
Being happy doesn’t mean losing your edge
. Some people think a relaxed demeanor won’t look good to co-workers, clients and employers - they’ll assume you’re not sufficiently motivated to go the extra mile or tough enough to survive in a competitive environment. The truth is, happy people’s enthusiasm spurs them to better performance. Unhappy people, on the other hand, are often held back by their own negativity. Often defensive and rigid, they aren’t good team players. So dare to be happy - your work will take on greater significance.Don’t be a drama queen. Talking about how incredibly busy you are, how hard you work, how little you sleep and the fact that you don’t have a personal life focuses your attention on the most troublesome aspects of your work. Work can be hard, but boasting about it simply reinforces your stress and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It also makes you a great bore.
Cultivate intuition. No one questions the value of analytical thinking, but there’s another type of intelligence that is every bit as important. It works only when you quiet your mind - when you stop sorting and calculating and comparing, and allow the answer to come to you. Your intuition is a powerful tool. Learn to trust it.
Think of stress and frustration as distractions to your success. Some people assume that stress and success are linked in some essential way. In fact, unchecked stress interferes with clear thinking, inhibits intuition and creativity, saps your energy and robs you of your sense of humor. Far from helping you keep your edge, it actually gives the advantage to your competitors. While it’s true that some degree of stress is inescapable, if you see it as a positive or necessary factor, you’ll just end up creating more.
GO WITH THE FLOW
Bureaucracy exists—deal with it. Everyone who works for a living encounters rules and regulations that seem to defy logic and common sense. You can waste a great deal of time complaining and fighting it, without ever changing anything. But keeping your composure and your sense of humor will ease your way through a frustrating situation. Getting angry will only bring out the worst in a bureaucrat, encouraging him to turn to the rule book instead of finding a real solution.
Mama said there’d be days like this. There are times when to give a hundred percent, but the universe seems to conspire in making everything go wrong. Factor into your plans the occasional day from hell, and don’t take yourself too seriously. The world won’t stop spinning because you had a bad day.
Pick your battles. One of our major stressors is a tendency to cling to arguments we have no chance of winning. Obviously, if the stakes are high - involving your integrity or a serious amount of money - a fight is worth the trouble. But learn to let go of the little battles. Their outcome is practically irrelevant - we fight them out of habit or stubbornness.
Don’t get stressed by the predictable. In most industries, there are certain standard problems. You must learn to factor them into your awareness and plan your life to accommodate them. If you’re a flight attendant, you know planes will occasionally be delayed; if you’re an accountant, you know there will be overtime in March and April.
Ask for what you want, but don’t insist on getting it. It’s important to speak up, but realize that there are no guarantees. Think of the asking itself as an accomplishment, but don’t get too attached to the outcome. The key to detachment is to see that being turned down often has very little to do with you’re personality. The client may love your product, but it’s not in his budget. Your boss may think you’re a terrific worker, but she can’t give you a better office because it’s been promised to someone with seniority. It’s great to ask—but be gracious if you don’t get what you want.
R's FOR A REALLY CRAZY DAY
Take breaks. I used to think I could get more done by working straight through the day. But over the years I’ve learned that skipping breaks actually blunts productivity. Just a few minutes to clear your head can make all the difference in your outlook.
Remember the three R’s. No, not the ones you learned in school. The ones I’m talking about are responsive, receptive and reasonable. Responsive means acting appropriately to the issue rather than being driven by knee-jerk reactions. When you maintain perspective, you become calmer and more effective. Receptive people are open to ideas and learn quickly. Reasonable suggests the ability to see things fairly, to put yourself in others’ shoes. These three words represent most of what you need to be an effective, kind worker.
Don’t procrastinate. Sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the obvious. Whenever you have to deal with something difficult - resolve a conflict, make a sticky phone call, confront someone or turn him down - do it first thing. You get it over with, you’re fresher and more alert as you deal with it, and you have better concentration for the rest of the day because the dreaded event is not nibbling at your mind.
Before becoming defensive, listen. Suppose someone takes a quick look at a report you’ve spent months working on and says something less than flattering, such as, "Did it really have to be this long?" You could spend a lot of your time being annoyed and hurt at insensitive comments like this. Instead, step back, breathe, relax and really listen before you react. Is there an element of truth in what your critic says, or is he simply being a jerk? If you can learn something, so much the better; if the comment was merely mean-spirited, why let something so trivial ruin your day?
RELIABLE RELAXERS
Spend ten minutes a day doing nothing.
People moan that they are much too busy to do this, but it’s precisely because you’re so busy that it’s a great idea. It gives you a chance to access the quiet part of your brain where wisdom resides. It turns what looks like chaos into a more manageable situation, and gives you a chance to regroup. Ideas and solutions that wouldn’t have surfaced when you were frenetic will simply pop into your mind. This could be the most productive ten minutes on your day.Accept the fact that you’re not going to please everyone. It’s not easy to live with others’ disappointment, but it’s inevitable. Four people want you to call back before five p.m., but the second call takes longer than anticipated—presto, two unhappy people. In spite of your best efforts, your actions may hurt and disappoint others. When you make peace with that fact, a huge weight is removed.
Set personal priorities. When you’re busy, it’s easy to postpone or overlook your true priorities. Write down the personal things that are most important to you, then put the list away. Take it out in two weeks and reread it. If your actions match the list, you’re in a tiny minority. Most people find that while things like reading, exercising, spending time with family and volunteering are high on the list, they have actually spent their time watching TV, shopping, running errands and hanging out. Your lack of satisfaction will translate into frustration at work and elsewhere.
Know that the choice is yours. We tend to think that our circumstances are beyond our control, but the truth is, most people choose their careers. That’s not to say that your problems are necessarily your fault, but that all things considered (including income needs, job stability and availability), you made the decision to be doing what you’re doing. Once you embrace the concept of choice, you will begin to feel less victimized, more empowered and successful.
DON’T LOSE YOUR FOCUS
Create a bridge between your spirituality and your work.
If kindness, patience, honesty and generosity are spiritual qualities you believe in, make every effort to practice them at the office. Work is the perfect environment to extend your spirituality—in the way you greet people and deal with conflict, how you sell a product or balance ethics and profit. Practicing these virtues will put your problems into a broader context and help Avoid gossip. This may nor seem like a big deal—until you stop to consider how much time and energy you spend engaged in conversations that are not relevant to your work. Of course, there are times when want to chat with friends or co-workers. The trick is to make sure that it’s out of choice, not habit. The hour you gain back could mean a peaceful week instead of a stressful one.Let go of personality clashes. Certain types of people are difficult to work with—for me, it’s pushy or hyperactive people. So I think of getting along with people as part of my job description. In other words, rather than writing off the relationship, I take responsibility for making it work. Think of yourself and your coworkers as characters in a play, each with his or her own role. The differences help make life interesting.
ACCEPT THAT SMALL STUFF HAPPENS
No matter who you are or how successful you become, you’re still going to have your share of problems. Remind yourself of this fact regularly, because it’s tempting to believe that your new wisdom and insight
are going to exempt you from the reality of daily hassles. But with practice, you’ll be able to recognize them for what they are: small stuff.
Most recent revision
June 07, 2007